What is the longest labour?

I remember reading somewhere in pregnancy a woman responding “nine months” when asked how long her labour was. There is a sense in which we are being birthed as mothers and our children are being birthed from the moment of conception - and that moment of conception in my experience was spiritual before it was physical. (One for another post maybe!)

In any case, this birth probably “officially” began six days before our baby arrived, with the rupture of my membranes.

I had been recording my Love Revolution daily session around 6 am and found myself bursting for the loo at the end, and when I was in the bathroom I found myself experiencing something completely new - liquid was trickling from me without me being able to control it and I was somewhat in disbelief as it stop/started for the next hour or so.

When Osanne woke I told him excitedly that our baby was on the way - we messaged our doula and a few close women who I was asking to light candles and hold space for me throughout labour.

That Saturday we headed to walk in some Bluebell woods nearby, and I started coming up with ideas of things we wouldn’t be able to do when the baby arrived - mainly popping to the shops and (we deliberated long and hard whether to do this, knowing it would be part of the birth story forever) going to McDonalds drive thru… I truly expected like most expectant mums to go into labour by Sunday morning at the latest.

Baby Joy had other ideas! We had called our child Joy throughout pregnancy, as that was their essence, but it wasn’t until the birth we actually discovered the sex. I woke with mild contractions on Sunday morning, but these faded by 11 am and we ended up in this cycle where my hopes would rise and I’d think everything was starting but surges would fade and I’d get into a funk. I did so much research in these days around how long to go with ruptured membranes, how the medical advice has gone from leaving it 72 hours to recommending immediate induction (in spite of there being no new evidence to support this). The evidence appears to be that there is around 1 in 200 chance of any birth resulting in an infection in mother or child, either of which can be very dangerous. This increases to 1 in 100 chance when the waters are flowing, as the mucus plug is no longer keeping the womb sterile. However, pretty much the first thing any medic will do when you present with ruptured membranes is a vaginal exam, which has been shown to double the risk of infection. So I was having a really difficult time fully understanding the risk and weighing it against the benefit of my dream physiological birth at home. The main reason I am sharing this account is beacause I was SO grateful for the anecdotal accounts I discovered of people whose waters released and they waited for the baby to arrive.

As the days went by I kept trying to relax and keep enjoying a bit of movement and my playlist, and started to explore all the things that could bring on labour - hot baths and sex were out of the question because of the infection risk. I wanted to avoid prostoglandin induction because I would have to be in hospital, it would likely lead to a cascade of interventions and would also mean introducing the risk of infection. Castor oil was a consideration but didn’t really feel right and seemed a bit risky as it either works well or leaves you feeling really rough. By Tuesday I decided I should at least go into hospital for some monitoring to ensure baby was doing fine and that I didn’t have any markers for infection. I was met by kind midwives and a stressed obstetrician, none of whom were really able to explain the increased risk of infection. After a somewhat dismissive recommendation for induction (and beration for risking my child’s and my life, while in the same breath saying the first thing she would like to do was a vaginal examination) I was told I’d have to sign a form to say I was leaving against medical advice. I was fine with this and asked repeatedly for my notes while waiting an age to receive them and leave.

Each evening from then on I went for monitoring, and by Thursday they were really wanting me to make a decision about when my cut off would be/at what point I would go in for a caeserean. Finally, on that evening, an obstetrician met with me who understood and respected my birth choices and how much it mattered to me to make the best choice for me and my child. She was the first person to suggest a scan to see why our baby might not be proceeding and it was clear that the head was a bit off centre and neck/body twisted on the way in to the pelvis - kind of spiralling towards my spine. I had avoided going upside down or doing any of the Spinning Babies exercises I’d been doing to reposition the baby earlier in pregnancy, but having seen the scan and discussed it I did a couple of inversions and tried nudging the baby around while I was on all fours that evening. Lo and behold, at 2.30 am I awoke to whispers of our baby arriving…